Dating. Sometimes dating can be a scary word or experience, especially if you haven't had positive outcomes with them. This week we spent the time talking about the purpose of dating, and "How do you know if I'm on a date or not," questions. One thing that caught my interest is a theory we will call the Cinderella Syndrome.
This is the thought that a man is walking lonely in a park, and all way from the other side of the fountain and makes eye contact with a woman, (cue the love music) they fall in love, and they live happily ever after. Awkward. Relationships don't just happen. You can't pray for Heavenly Father to bring you the love of your life while you sit and play video games all day. It takes work. Even hard work sometimes. Well what if you do try, and you date, and you date, but the results are not promising? There was a story told of a young man who did just this, and was getting discouraged that he was doing something wrong. Well in a capstone class, he brought up his concern to a teacher. The teacher thought about his situation, and asked him about his mission. "What did you do when you struggled with finding investigators on your mission?" He replied, "We just kept trying." The teacher then told the young man to just keep trying.
When we date, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are looking for that eternal spouse that we want to spend the rest of our lives with. When I dated at 16, that sure wasn't on my mind. So it all starts with communication. Dating gives us a means of communicating with the opposite sex, and gives us an idea of who we like and who we don't like. Eventually, we will start to date a person seriously, but a question to think about is "How do I know I'm dating."
I would like to give you the three P's of dating:
1- Paired Off
2- Planned
3- Paid For
These three things are good guidelines to knowing you have been on a date. Hanging out just isn't as good aye? Eventually when you meet this awesome spouse of yours, (cause trust me you will) and you will then take on three other P's which are:
1- Preside
2- Provide
3- Protect
I realize that these are all attributes of men, but men you kinda have the responsibility for asking. Girls have the responsibility for accepting, (most of the time anyways :) Sometimes a family may decide to do things differently and that is alright, as long as you are happy and the needs of your family are being met.
I know that dating is awkward, and even really awkward sometimes, but in the end you will grow from those experiences and find a person that doesn't make you feel odd. I would like to end with the quote, "We find A right person, not THE right person." There are many guys and gals that are fit to be married it is just finding the one that is compatible with you. I do believe that there are many people that one could have a happy life with, it is just getting approval from Heavenly Father that that is the right choice. If one doesn't work out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea so don't sweat, just keep trying!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Gender Roles
I thought that this
week brought up a lot of interesting ideas, and principles that can be related
to the family. I think that living in a
world that is changing the definition of family and the roles within the family
that it gets complicated to think of all the different ways a family can
operate. It is also difficult to say
that men will always take care of the checkbook; women will cook, clean, and
raise the children. Since times are
changing, I think that the balance between men and women is crucial for a
successful marriage. In my family, my
dad has set clear boundaries that he is the breadwinner, and that my mom will
cook and raise us children. It has been
that way since I can remember. My mom
has had desires to go out and work, and since we are all growing up, hopefully
that will happen someday.
In my future
family, I would like a husband who respects my decisions that I make in life,
and I do want to work as a teacher to keep busy. When I have kids, I want to raise them, but
knowing that I can help with finances at times when we needed is what I hope to
have in an agreement in marriage. I do
think that there are shared responsibilities, but what I think of as shared in
my family, may not be what another family needs in theirs. I would like my husband and I to raise our
children together with each other rather than dominating over each other. I think that everything a husband and wife
do, they can do together, whether it be walking through tough times together,
working, doing chores, or learning with one another.
Friday, May 17, 2013
I'm Like a Peanut Butter, Marshmallow Sandwich
We all have a culture, whether it be an American Culture, African American, Asian, Hispanic, etc, and I think that they all have some value and hidden treasures that we can learn from them.
The culture that I was raised in was very different, and the more I think about it the more interested I become in it. I am half Mexican, and half American. My dad was raised in Tuchipila, Zacatecas Mexico, and moved to the United States when he was about 8-10 years of age. My mom is from California, and met my dad when she moved to Oregon at 17. They got married. My dad was 17, and my mom was 18, and two years later had my oldest brother Jonathon.
As we were talking about culture my teacher had the class write down things that defined our social class growing up. Social class is slightly different than culture, in that social class is more where a family fits economically such as social status, and money earned per year. Culture is the beliefs and values of a family and society. I realized that my social class growing up was....meager. I should say poor, because that's what we were. However, I did get everything that I needed: food, clothing, education. I didn't get top brand things, or many things that I wanted, and beans and tortillas showed up way too much on the menu for my liking, but I was taken care of.
My dad is a hard worker, and would work all day to support his family of 8, so that's what he did when we were growing up. In an article I read, it mentioned that Mexicans are most likely to drop out of high school. In my dad's family this would be an accurate statement. His family consists of 12 kids and a mom and a dad, and of his siblings only two graduated from high school. Unfortunately my dad wasn't one of those two. He did go on to find a steady job to support his family, and wanted the best for us kids.
Since my dad is Mexican and my mom is American, they faced some challenges because of the cultures they were each raised in. Hispanic culture emphasizes family loyalty, and respect, and love; putting family before yourself, and always helping when financial crisis arises. My mom's perspective was a little bit different. She was raised in an independent, get an education and support yourself type of view. Although she didn't graduate high school herself, she studied hard and obtained her GED later in life when she was 30.
Being able to see two cultures come together and work things out to make one crazy family was a blessing that I got to experience growing up. It was hard, and hectic at times, and fighting about when I got to cut my hair (I did so rebelliously at 15) is all a part of a great plan that was put in my path. Culture is an amazing thing that Heavenly Father has blessed us with, and I think that we should respect each and everyone of them. They are important to him, so let's make them important to us.
The culture that I was raised in was very different, and the more I think about it the more interested I become in it. I am half Mexican, and half American. My dad was raised in Tuchipila, Zacatecas Mexico, and moved to the United States when he was about 8-10 years of age. My mom is from California, and met my dad when she moved to Oregon at 17. They got married. My dad was 17, and my mom was 18, and two years later had my oldest brother Jonathon.
As we were talking about culture my teacher had the class write down things that defined our social class growing up. Social class is slightly different than culture, in that social class is more where a family fits economically such as social status, and money earned per year. Culture is the beliefs and values of a family and society. I realized that my social class growing up was....meager. I should say poor, because that's what we were. However, I did get everything that I needed: food, clothing, education. I didn't get top brand things, or many things that I wanted, and beans and tortillas showed up way too much on the menu for my liking, but I was taken care of.
My dad is a hard worker, and would work all day to support his family of 8, so that's what he did when we were growing up. In an article I read, it mentioned that Mexicans are most likely to drop out of high school. In my dad's family this would be an accurate statement. His family consists of 12 kids and a mom and a dad, and of his siblings only two graduated from high school. Unfortunately my dad wasn't one of those two. He did go on to find a steady job to support his family, and wanted the best for us kids.
Since my dad is Mexican and my mom is American, they faced some challenges because of the cultures they were each raised in. Hispanic culture emphasizes family loyalty, and respect, and love; putting family before yourself, and always helping when financial crisis arises. My mom's perspective was a little bit different. She was raised in an independent, get an education and support yourself type of view. Although she didn't graduate high school herself, she studied hard and obtained her GED later in life when she was 30.
Being able to see two cultures come together and work things out to make one crazy family was a blessing that I got to experience growing up. It was hard, and hectic at times, and fighting about when I got to cut my hair (I did so rebelliously at 15) is all a part of a great plan that was put in my path. Culture is an amazing thing that Heavenly Father has blessed us with, and I think that we should respect each and everyone of them. They are important to him, so let's make them important to us.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
White Picket Fence
Every family has rules.
Some are more obvious than others, while some are not. Here are some that I have in my family.
1- Didn’t whine that grocery shopping is taking too
long…because mom will drag it out an hour longer!
2-
If you want money, tell mom you’d do laundry for
a week.
3-
Don’t ask pops about a car part unless you want
him to explain it for 40 minutes.
4-
Don’t ask to stay the night anywhere, unless your
parents had met. (This sucked.)
5-
If you don’t like dinner. Starve
6-
Always ask mom first cause she almost always
says yes.
7-
Don’t start watching something on TV you plan on
finishing, or my parents will change the channel if they don’t want to watch
it. It’s best to just watch what they
watch. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz’s.
8-
And the last one, girls don’t cut your
hair.
As we were talking
about rules we also discussed boundaries.
Boundaries are needed, and exist in every family. These boundaries can be placed up by the
rules that each family has in place. We
talked about 3 different types of boundaries.
1-
The concrete wall. When you see a house that has 9 foot concrete
slabs and chicken wire all the way around it, it gives the feeling that this is
my space and you are not ever allowed to come across it. Some families are very much this way.
2-
The second one is posts that are just put in the
ground with nothing to connect them.
This analogy can be related to a family who are open, but most of the
time too open, and has no clear boundaries set in place. I like to think of this as chaos.
3-
The last one is a white picket fence. This represents kindness, and it’s not too
tall so it is welcoming. However, white
picket fences are pointed at the top so if someone was to straddle it, it
wouldn’t be comfortable. This is the
ideal way to set boundaries within the home.
Keep them kind, but a distance that keeps you and your family
close. This is the ultimate goal that
Heavenly Father wants us to achieve.
So when all else fails, choose the picket fence.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Pop that Lation
This week in class we talked about many different epistemology's. You're like whoa, next page...but let me explain that epistemology is just a huge word that means "how we come about truth." Not too bad yeah?
Whenever we come about truth we usually use one or more of the following:
1- Empiricism or Experience
2- Rationalism
3- Scientific Method
4- Authority/Parents/Grandparents/Etc.
and
5- Revelation.
When you are faced with a conflict, or need guidance in a certain area of your life, which one do you go to first? Well everyone will end up doing things in different orders, and that is perfectly ok. The one thing that I love about life is that sometimes their are multiple right answers!
The one question that came up in a video we watched this week has been at the forefront of my mind. And I am curious to know what each of you think about it. So we have all heard about overpopulation right? Well this video was focused on depopulation. Who would have thought that there AREN'T enough people living right now!?!
The book, The Population Bomb, convinced many that overpopulation would lead many to starvation, our resources running out, and the world being overcrowded. However, if every family in the world was given one acre of land, guess how much space we would need? Texas. We would need an area the size of Texas to fit every family in the world on it. Crazy? Look it up yourself. My question is how do you make the choice to know how many children you will one day bear?? Will you let some resources, like The Population Bomb, influence you to have maybe one or two, or will you look at your own family and take advice from your mom...and grandmother...and sister...and friends...and neighbor...and pet hamster....and prettymuchanyonebutyourselfandspouse to make the decision?
Don't get me wrong, all those things can have some pretty awesome advice, but let's go back to the epistemology of revelation. To me, I think that this is one of the most important ways we as individuals can gain knowledge, or an answer to a question. Well how do you gain revelation you say? It's super simple! PRAY. It is mentioned many times in the scriptures to, "multiply and replenish the earth." If you may be unsure about this commandment, then study it out, ponder about it, and pray to Heavenly Father if this is true.
The next step would be as eternal companions to ask yourself and Heavenly Father how many children you can nourish, and when those times are ideal to have them. We may be given many, or we may be given a few...who really knows besides Heavenly Father!
Now I am not saying everyone go out and have 10 kids right now...I'm just saying save it for when you are married. ;) You don't need to be rich. Just a lot of faith, and love that you are willing to share with a perfect child of God. And when the time comes that you are all reunited in the Celestial Kingdom, oh what a grand time that will be! I would just like to end and say that families are eternal, and can be together forever. One day, when the light seems to shine a little brighter and all understanding will be given to us, is when we can say, thank you for my trials, my blessings, but most importantly; my family.
Whenever we come about truth we usually use one or more of the following:
1- Empiricism or Experience
2- Rationalism
3- Scientific Method
4- Authority/Parents/Grandparents/Etc.
and
5- Revelation.
When you are faced with a conflict, or need guidance in a certain area of your life, which one do you go to first? Well everyone will end up doing things in different orders, and that is perfectly ok. The one thing that I love about life is that sometimes their are multiple right answers!
The one question that came up in a video we watched this week has been at the forefront of my mind. And I am curious to know what each of you think about it. So we have all heard about overpopulation right? Well this video was focused on depopulation. Who would have thought that there AREN'T enough people living right now!?!
The book, The Population Bomb, convinced many that overpopulation would lead many to starvation, our resources running out, and the world being overcrowded. However, if every family in the world was given one acre of land, guess how much space we would need? Texas. We would need an area the size of Texas to fit every family in the world on it. Crazy? Look it up yourself. My question is how do you make the choice to know how many children you will one day bear?? Will you let some resources, like The Population Bomb, influence you to have maybe one or two, or will you look at your own family and take advice from your mom...and grandmother...and sister...and friends...and neighbor...and pet hamster....and prettymuchanyonebutyourselfandspouse to make the decision?
Don't get me wrong, all those things can have some pretty awesome advice, but let's go back to the epistemology of revelation. To me, I think that this is one of the most important ways we as individuals can gain knowledge, or an answer to a question. Well how do you gain revelation you say? It's super simple! PRAY. It is mentioned many times in the scriptures to, "multiply and replenish the earth." If you may be unsure about this commandment, then study it out, ponder about it, and pray to Heavenly Father if this is true.
The next step would be as eternal companions to ask yourself and Heavenly Father how many children you can nourish, and when those times are ideal to have them. We may be given many, or we may be given a few...who really knows besides Heavenly Father!
Now I am not saying everyone go out and have 10 kids right now...I'm just saying save it for when you are married. ;) You don't need to be rich. Just a lot of faith, and love that you are willing to share with a perfect child of God. And when the time comes that you are all reunited in the Celestial Kingdom, oh what a grand time that will be! I would just like to end and say that families are eternal, and can be together forever. One day, when the light seems to shine a little brighter and all understanding will be given to us, is when we can say, thank you for my trials, my blessings, but most importantly; my family.
Families can be together forever.
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